puce julius!

if it doesn’t work out, i can always roll the pucing machinery back into my boba chain. either way, i’m gonna make out like fuckin’ croesus.

…where my snake, mr. slithers, had melted the glass in his tank by glowing hot like a tungsten filament. when i tried to grab him and stuff him in a pillowcase, his head would glow and he’d corkscrew away, leaving tracers like somebody waving a sparkler.

i blame el pollo loco’s queso crunch burrito. but hurry — it’s only available for a limited time!

VIRGO: you will wait out the cat poo on the rug until it’s dry enough to peel off and then fabreze the rug until fabreze soaks through the ceiling of the apartment downstairs.
lucky numbers: none.

the tulsa skull swingers start their monthly residency at the steve allen theater in “hollywood”. steve thinks it’s great! 8pm.

THINGS TO DO TODAY:

– sell a bass to a guy in japan named guts-guts.

– clean streak of cat poo off kitchen floor.

– “do” laundry. know what i mean?

i just heard somebody peeling out from cheetahs. nice!

thanks for calling.